Do you ever feel lonely, even though you have lots of good friends? Today, I just feel sad. I've been kinda ignoring it all day. I was thinking of old times.......when life was different. My best friend and I did everything together (well, almost). We were so close. Of course, things have changed. They always do. Marriage, kids, jobs. I have another best friend now, my sweetie. But, it's not the same. I have lots of new friends, good women who are doing alot of the same things I am doing. I value these new friendships very much. I know I should just reach out and call someone. I don't. Not sure why. Fear of rejection? Fear that they won't understand? Fear that they just don't like me? That's the old tapes in my head talking. Insecure Jill. I haven't seen her in a while. It must be this darkness. I am missing something today. Some deep knowing-ness that comes from years of friendship or a deeper connection. So, I called my dear old friend, and we chatted. Caught up a bit. But there's too much separate life there, or just not enough time spent together recently. It's so distant now. I am sure it's mostly my fault. I let her go a bit when I became a mom. I put so much of myself into my family, I don't have much left for friendships like I used to. Sounds so cold when put into words, but it's the truth. I miss my friend, she's just like that really comfortable pair of sweats that you keep in the bottom of your drawer and pull out when nothing else fits right.