What a Weekend!

It was a weekend full of interesting moments, some great, some not. On Friday, Darla had her 2 month check up with Dr. Klokied. She weighed in at 12 lbs, 11 oz and is 22 inches long. She's in the 90th % for weight and 25th % for height. So, even though we still struggle with her latch during breastfeeding, it's clear she's getting enough to eat. Dr Klokied pronounced her perfect and was more worried about me and my mental/emotional health. She encouraged me to start doing a better job of taking care of myself. To take real breaks from both kids. Go on a date with Jeremy. Get out of the house by myself. Yikes. I have been getting out, but I've been taking Darla with me. So, after an emotional evening and a good talk, Jeremy and I came up with a plan to get Darla to take a bottle. She's refused, up until today. It took me leaving the house, and her to get hungry enough, but she did take a bottle from Jeremy today. Progress. I know the fight is not over yet, but we are on the road to some independence for me. I am going to do some research on different nipples to see if there's one out there that she will prefer over the ones we have.

I got to play in my GARDEN this weekend. Ahhhh, beautiful sunshine, warmth on my shoulders, the smell of dirt. It was a treat to be outside and dry! Derick played along side me in the sand box, and Darla rested in the carrier while I cleaned up all the deadness in the yard. I was SO tired of looking at it out my windows! It's so much nicer now. And, I think most of my plants made it through the deep freeze of December. I'll know more in the months ahead. There's lots more pruning to do, but it was a nice start and a WONDERFUL reminder that SPRING is on it's way.

Our SLEEP pattern has shifted, again. Darla has been sleeping for 6 to 7 hours at night for the last week. What a blessing! It has given me a new lift in my step and some hope that things will continue to get better. The flip side to that is I got another breast infection! All those hours without emptying and the girls got backed up again. Friday, I went back on antibiotics, one more time. Sigh. It's a different drug this time, and I can take it with or without food, so it makes it much easier for me. No more waiting for meals or watching the family eat without me.

Sunday, I got a little pampering from our cousin Kellie. She brought over some spa products that she sells and spent a little time with me. We smoothed out my hands, did a facial, improved my soles, and did a relaxation visualization. Her daughter, Shelby, entertained Derick and Daddy took Darla. It was such a peaceful morning and a treat for me. Thanks Kellie!!! I can't wait to do that again.

Darla continues to get more and more interactive with us. Saturday, she smiled at Derick for the first time. It was such a sweet moment, I cried while the two of them exchanged smiles. Derick said, "Look mommy, she smiled at me!" I know he was just as touched as I was.

Derick has been doing pretty good, with only one really bad melt down over the weekend. His newest way to express loving feelings is to say, "Mommy, you are my BEST friend!" It's such a sweet thing for him to say and I love hearing it!

I know there is more work ahead of us, and just when we get used to something, it'll change. But for today, this moment, life feels pretty darn wonderful. My cup is full.

Just when I blog about it......

.....it changes!!! I am happy to report the tired feeling behind my eyes is gone, for the moment. Darla and I slept last night (well, really this morning) from 1:30am to 7:30am!!! Yippee!!! I am a new woman today. It's amazing what 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep will do for the body and soul. Thanks, my sweet little girl. It was just what I needed. :)

Tired Behind the Eyes

Derick is going through another phase...no naps! Yikes! Just when I was getting into a routine of at least napping while he did during the day, he goes and changes that on me. At the risk of sounding like a mope, I am SO bummed! That was my time to rest during the day! For the last few days, Derick hasn't been able to sleep during nap time. Saturday, he even said to me, "Mommy, I'm having trouble going to sleep." What a smart little boy. To save my sanity, I am enforcing the rule of taking a rest....he must stay in his bed with the lights off and be quiet for at least one hour. It does help. I hope he'll grow out of this and go back to taking naps. For all our sakes! So, without naps and Darla keeping me up until 12 or 1am, I am very tired, so much so, that I can feel it behind my eyes. You know that feeling....the ache when you close them, the dry eyelids, the feeling that if I sat still in a quiet room, I just might nod off for a bit....

I can see that my services are no longer needed here...

OK, I have let loose of the reigns to the jillandjeremy.net blog. Jill has full admin privileges. We shall see what happens. Good Luck...

It's nap time, and typing one handed sucks.......but I had to get on here really quickly and post a photo taken by my parents yesterday. Darla Smiles for the camera! Thanks for the photos, mom and dad!

Coerced into being a Night Owl?

So, things have been a roller coaster ride for me the last few weeks. Darla has settled into some sort of a routine, although, I wouldn't say I like it. She has decided that her time to be awake and alert is between 9pm and 1am. Yeah, I said 1am. And, of course, she's not cute and smiley the whole time, either. This is such a HARD time of the day for me. I am a sleeper. I LOVE to sleep. I always have....my mom said I would practically put myself to bed when I was a kid. I love my bed, and I love to be in it at night. So, sitting up with a fussy baby while the rest of the house is quiet and peaceful, is really hard for me. I try everything to get her to relax....bouncing, rocking, walking, singing (although I'm not sure she really likes this much-I'm not that good). I realized that all the fussing at night was keeping Derick up and his cranky-ness level was getting worse and worse. So, now Darla and I spend our nights in the basement. I would rather that, than have a sleep deprived child. There's only room for one sleep deprived person around here! I do my best to get a nap everyday, to help me get through this late night fuss fest. During the nights that I don't have that extra sleep, it's alot of tears and angry feelings from me and some from Darla too. I know I shouldn't feel resentment towards Darla, but it's hard not to in the dead of night. I know all this will change, as most everything does about newborns. I am trying to remain as positive as I can. It's tough though, way tougher than I thought it would be. And, when I'm having a tough day, the whole family feels it. I start resenting all my loved ones, and that doesn't feel so great. Depression is a strange beast (yup, I used the D word) and something I never thought I'd have to deal with. I have had lots of wonderful offers to help-I am so blessed with such wonderful friends and family. And, I'm going to do my best to ask. (I'm not so good at this, either). Sometimes, all I really need is someone to listen or someone to just sit with me. An extra set of hands to hold Darla. She still struggles with her acid reflux and doesn't like to be put down. This can be quite draining for me, esp when I can't interact with Derick when I need to. Ok, I just re-read this and it's quite whiny. Let me try to balance that out a bit.

Some positive things:

-I have figured out breastfeeding with Darla. She just doesn't empty me the way Derick did. So, I pump. If I don't, I'll get an infection. Simple as that. Her latch isn't nearly as good as Derick's either, and when she's not really hungry, it's terrible! She can go three to four hours without milk, no problem. I think she inherited my metabolism, poor thing, it's really SLOW.

-I can now wear my new Ergo baby carrier. I had to watch the instructional DVD again, but I got it figured out for hands free baby wearing. I am looking forward to the time when Darla is big enough to put her in it without the infant insert.

-I LOVE my new stroller and enjoy walks outside even in the cold. If anyone wants to come with me, please call me!

-I have bigger boobs!! I got fitted this weekend for some new nursing bras and my cup size has gone up! Yay for Jeremy. Now I just need to loose the baby belly and va, va, voom!

-Darla smiles! She is getting cuter and cuter now. And I finally feel like I am starting to bond with her. It's taken some time, but I know we will have some fun mommy and daughter moments to come.

-Since I'm downstairs in the middle of the night, I am excited about some new TV shows I'll be watching. Let me know your favorite, and I'll add it to my TIVO list.

Here's some recent pics of bath time with Derick and Darla together. It was a sweet moment and the first bath that Darla took without a lot of tears.

Happy New Year!!