More snow play

Enjoy more photos of us playing in the snow! Daddy came home from work for lunch and got in a little snowman making too!

I should be in bed right now, napping, since both my children are asleep. But, I have some things on my mind that I don't want to forget. Just a couple of days ago, Darla started to SMILE! We haven't got it on film, yet. But watch for a picture soon. I can't tell you how rewarding that moment is when a newborn baby looks into your tired, ragged, dark circled eyes and grins that toothless cheek-to-cheek smile. It makes all the hard work and sleepless hours melt away, for that moment. She's almost 6 weeks and her beautiful smile couldn't come at a better time for me. I'm still struggling to get healthy and kick this hacking cough. I think I'm going on 18 days now. It's getting better, slowly. (although if we talk in the morning, you wouldn't think so!) I came down with another breast infection and went back on antibiotics for another week. Darla has a cold, and so feedings get cut short when she can't breathe through her nose. Then I back up with milk, and so it goes. Poor girl, I think she's spent the first month of her life with a snotty nose. I have been calling her, affectionately, Snarfy. Hopefully, that nick name won't stick after her cold goes away.

Derick and I had a sweet moment the other day that lifted my spirits. Friday, we all napped in the afternoon. I had put Darla in the bouncy seat, right in the middle of my bed, and laid down beside her. When Derick got up, she was still asleep so I invited him to join me for a snuggle. He jumped at the chance and we cuddled up under the covers for a while. We talked about ATV's and he wove me a wonderful story about all the things he'd do with one. He told me he'd pick up Daddy from work and bring him home. And he told me how he'd get stuck in the snow, would get his monster truck to pull it out and how he'd fix it in his shop. And what really melted my heart was at every pause in the story, he would say, "Mommy, you are my best friend." Ah, music to this mommy's heart. I am doing my best to hold on to these thoughts in the not-so-nice moments.

I do love my children and my little family is getting along OK. As Darla continues to get older, life will settle into a routine. I'm plugging along, doing my best every day. If I don't get back here before the holiday arrives, I wish everyone a very wonderful holiday!

It's still Snowing......!

I have to say, I feel like a little kid today, watching the snow continue to fall here in Renton. I am amazed that it continues to pile up! After last nights' storm, I thought we were done. But, at about noon, it started again and hasn't really stopped since. What a beautiful sight! I can't remember the last time we have had this much snow. I know it's hard to drive in, and people get cabin fever. But really, how often does this happen around here? Hardly ever. So, I say sit back with your mug of hot cocoa and enjoy the moment.

We had a fun day today, playing in the snow. Jeremy got his three wheeler working and was like a little kid playing with his toys. He took Derick for a ride which was fun to watch. They rode down to the end of the street, did a slow doughnut or two and then came back up to the house. Derick did some sledding right here in our driveway. It's the perfect hill for him, not too fast but he can still get some speed up for some good fun. Jerry came by for a visit as did Josh and Nikanne. They watched the Seahawks win, even while playing in the snow! I took advantage of the extra hands around and napped while Derick did. Then, we had pizza and meatball subs and visited while watching the snow start piling up outside. As I sit here, it continues to dump. I like to watch if fall in the streetlamp light.

Darla turns one month and it SNOWS in Renton!

On December 13th, Darla turned one month old. I really can't believe how fast the time has flown. After a fun play at the bouncy place on Friday, we all stopped in at Valley Medical Center to have her weight checked. I was surprised to find out she's 10 lbs 10 oz! That's over two lbs growth in one month. We can say with confidence that she's eating well. She's also grown an inch and a half, measuring 19.5 inches. It's amazing how fast they change. We had a friend of a friend come over on Saturday to take some photos of Darla and so far, they are just beautiful. Thanks Jennifer!

Saturday night while Jeremy, Darla, and I were at a holiday party; It SNOWED!! Yeah! I love the snow. It's a dry snow this time, so not as fun to play in. But it sure is pretty to look at. Derick was hanging out at Nonna and Papa's house for the night. Here's some fun pics of the snow. We might go play in it a little tomorrow, as long as it's not toooooo cold. The forecasters are predicting the lows for tonight to be in the teens. That's pretty cold for the Pacific Northwest!

Friday, Jeremy took Josh and Derick to the motorcycle show to check out the newest man-toys on the market. Derick had a great time testing them all out.

Tomorrow, Jeremy heads back to work after spending the last four weeks with his new little girl and us. I think it'll be good for all of us to get back into our old routine, although, I'll miss the extra set of hands around during the day. Have a good day at work, Daddy. And we'll see you when you get home!

Deck the Halls

So, in amongst the sickness, we have been decorating and trying to get ready for the holiday season. We got our Christmas tree last week and just to help you understand the state of mind around here, we got home and completely forgot it was on the top of the van! Luckily, it slid right into the garage, just under the door. Jeremy was able to get it off with little damage to the tree or the van. Good man!

We have our house lights up, and Derick got to help Daddy this year which included a trip onto the roof. Lucky boy! Nervous Mommy.....But all went well and Derick was on top of the world.

The tree is decorated, the stockings are hung, and now all that's left is the shopping, wrapping, cooking......oh well. It's all part of the fun, right?

Struggling

So, I don't want to sound like a complainer. But I have to say, life right now is the hardest it's ever been for me. That sounds dramatic, it's not really that bad. I'm just really struggling right now. Thursday night, I came down with a temperature. I figured I was getting a cold or something else that seems to be going around. I took some Tylenol and kept on doing my thing. Friday, I felt kinda crappy, got the hacking cough that Derick had a few weeks ago. But, I pushed on, tried to get some sleep, but with a newborn and a toddler in the house, it's tough. They never are resting at the same time! Friday night, I woke up at 2am with a terrible fever (102.9) and the shakes. I fed Darla, woke Jeremy for some help, got some meds and climbed back into bed. I was lying there, trying not to freak out about some kind of infection from my C section. I did manage to get a couple of hours of sleep before calling my doctor's office in the morning. Luckily, I got to speak to my OB (he was on call) directly. The good news is, my C section is fine. The bad news is, I have Mastitis or a breast infection. Another new thing for me to learn about! The hardest part is the fever. I hate dealing with the heat and the drain that it takes on me. And I worry that my milk supply will drop too low. I'm pumping and feeding as much as I can. Add to that lack of sleep, heart burn from the antibiotics I'm taking, and continued healing from surgery and, well, I'm struggling! I don't really do sick well, and get pretty mopey when I am. I just feel overwhelmed already. Some good news, I slept better last night and took a good rest this afternoon. I'm hoping with added rest, my state of mind will improve. Here's to a new day tomorrow, and hopefully, a breaking fever.

Good Days

Ok, so after my last post, things have been a little better. We still have a defiant little boy on our hands, but I'm doing better at handling it. Not perfect, but better. And, today has been a good day. We had family photos taken at JCPennys and Derick was a DREAM child. Thank goodness. I think we got some really sweet shots, and can't wait to share them. We have a couple more photo shoots scheduled for this week and next with friends and friends of friends. I can't wait to have more pictures of my beautiful little family!

Derick continues to be the sweetest big bro....here's some fun pics and a video I got of him loving his sister.

Here are some photos of Derick on his birthday, and Darla on her birthday. We couldn't believe how much they looked alike! I can't wait to see how different they will be in the coming months/years!

Derick, minutes old April 14th, 2006

Darla, minutes old, November 13, 2008

Shaken

Shaken, not stirred. That's how it feels around here tonight. I'm shaken, all the way to my heart. What has happened to my family??? Derick's not the same little boy anymore. He's changed. I've changed. We've all changed. It was a night of tears, raised voices, and tantrums. I don't like how often our voices get raised these days. And, it seems like Derick is getting into trouble alot. Daddy and Derick seem to always be fighting each other. Was it this way before, and I just notice it more now? Or has this addition to our family pushed Derick so far out of his comfort zone that he feels like he's got to act out to get our attention? Am I doing all I can for him? I don't know if I am. Clearly, things are not ever going to be the same. But, this way, this feeling, can't stay either. It's not good for any of us. I am so afraid of screwing up. Of damaging him somehow. It's funny, I worried about that when I brought him home from the hospital 2.5 years ago. And now I bring home another one, and I'm more worried about Derick than Darla. My heart is breaking tonight. For my son. For our lost way of life. We are in the unknown again, and it's hard. Sleepless nights, all of us out of routine, driven to just get the basics done. But are we driving away our sweet little boy? How will I have enough for all of them, and me? Looking back over the evening, I made a bunch of little mistakes. I missed the cues he was sending. I tried to stay calm, and just get him to bed. But, all these little things ended in tantrums and melt downs. And, it wore down my calm-ness. I lost control somehow and had my own meltdown. I'm not proud of my parenting tonight. Thank God love underlines all our actions. I pray that Derick will feel that and know in his heart that we care. And that we love him, so very much.

Much to be thankful for

I am Thankful today, for so many things:

Two weeks ago today, we welcomed our little girl into our lives. What a beautiful thanksgiving gift we have been given! Darla continues to grow in body and into our hearts. After our last check up, she was well above her birth weight at 8lbs 10 oz, and our Pediatrician pronounced her "perfect." It's music to a mother's ears. I was able to confirm, she does struggle with Acid Reflux. But it's not impeding her ability to eat, so we are going to let her body grow into itself and not give her any drugs. The doc told us to keep her upright as much as we can, propping her while she sleeps, especially. And to make sure she is well burped after meals. All this, we were already doing. She does struggle with gas, and cries out sometimes with pain. And, I have spent more time sleeping in my nursing chair with her than planned.........but, all things considered, it's worth it. She's a sweetie and we love her so much.

I continue to heal. Today, I was able to remove all of the left over glue that was still attached to my belly after the c section. It was left from the screens they put on my skin, around the incision site. The skin under the glue has been too tender, until today, to get it all off. My scar continues to heal, and my pain levels continue to drop. I am still taking Ibuprofen twice a day, to help with occasional aches. Overall, I am starting to feel like myself again.

D-Man drama! I AM thankful for my beautiful and smart son. He's such a 2 year old right now! He's pushing our limits, talking back to us, telling us no, and being contrary just because he can. If you ask him why he's doing something, his favorite answer is, "Because I am." He's such a big story teller. It's so much fun to listen to him ramble. He's thoughts seem so sophisticated sometimes, I forget he's only 2.5. Derick is loving his sister so much, giving her kisses all the time, asking to see her, and generally being the most loving I have EVER seen him be. It warms my heart. I do miss being in our old routine sometimes, having time to just play with him or take him out to play dates. I have been trying to keep some connection with him since Darla, but it's just not the same. I know it will even out with time, but for now, I miss my little man.

My love, my partner, my friend. I am SO thankful for you Jeremy. Without you, my life would look so different. We aren't perfect or dialed in to each all the time, but I know our love simmers below the surface and will once again re-emerge. We shook up our lives pretty good this time, and I am so grateful it's you I'm walking beside. Parenthood is the hardest thing we've ever done together. Thank you for standing with me during the meltdowns, the highs, the lows, and everything in between.

Family & Friends
How many riches we have, beyond the dollar. Thank you, Spirit, for all of our blessings. We are so supported by wonderful caring and loving family and friends.

Time Warp

There's a funny thing that happens when there's a new baby in the house.....the whole family enters a time warp. I can't tell you how many times I have looked up at a clock and said, "It's _____(insert a time) already?!?" I am amazed at how quickly time flies away from us as we just get the basic things done around the house. Potty, meals, showers, a bit of laundry, feedings, diaper changes, nap time.....it just seems to go so fast. Darla is 11 days old today, and I can't believe she'll be two weeks on Thursday. We all are continuing to take each day as it comes. I'm healing on a up one day, back the next, kind of schedule. Darla and I continue to figure out feedings. Some days she's on top of it, some days, not as much. Jeremy and Derick continue their battle of wills mixed in with some sweet Father and Son moments.

We haven't been doing a lot of exciting stuff, just visiting with family and friends....well, and getting to know our daughter. Here's a few pics from the last few days and a video of Derick and Daddy playing in the yard with the leaves.

Derick loves to hold his baby sister any chance he gets.

Babies sleep so soundly.....and I just love to see that peaceful face.

Derick's new big boy bunk beds-he really loves to show them off.

Playing in Daddy's leaf pile, such fun!

Darla Jean Peery

So we made it....Darla is here, finally!!! I am so pleased to be past that moment in time. Our scheduled C section went as expected and pretty smoothly. We were in the hospital by 5:40am; prepped for surgery and being wheeled into the OR by 7:20am. Our little girl was born at 7:56am, weighing in at 8 lbs 2 oz and 18 inches long. She was a little heavier and a little shorter than her big brother's birth stats. However, when looking into that little face, it was like seeing Derick's scowl and squished face all over again. We spent the rest of the day visiting with family and watching our little girl. The only tough part was seeing her struggle with the amniotic fluid in her lungs. It was really hard for me to hear her choking and gaging so much. I was already worried about that aspect. But after the first 12 hours, she got it all out and things settled down for me. I don't sleep well in hospitals, and this time it was no different than with Derick. The only time we got rest was when Darla was sleeping on my chest. I was so glad to get home Saturday afternoon.


Derick has been such a loving big brother, both Jeremy and I are amazed at how tender and protective he already is. A nurse was doing something with Darla in the hospital, and he kept saying, "Don't, Don't, Don't..." just making sure that the nurse knew he was watching out for his sister. It's adorable and so sweet to watch him. He always wants to hold her, touch her, and listens for any little peep that she makes, exclaiming, "My baby sister!" We still have to watch him closely, as he likes to put his fingers in her mouth, nose, eyes....but I know it's just curiosity. Above all, he's taking this new baby sister thing all in stride. I couldn't be more proud of him.

Life with a newborn is not easy, and I have found there is alot I had forgotten. Good and not so good. My recovery from the C is going slower than the first time around, and there are new and different feelings of pain. But, after a visit to the doctor Monday, I'm accepting them and doing my best to move past that part. Breastfeeding is going well, my milk came in the day we left the hospital. What I have learned is, not all babies feed the same. Derick was a drinker, and he was FAST. Darla, is more of a sipper, and not as fast as Derick. I took a shower Monday morning, and freaked out, finding that I had some swollen lumps in my armpits. After my doctor visit, I have learned that women have breast tissue all the way into their armpits, and it can fill with milk, if your baby is not emptying your breasts fast enough! Who knew? But, a little swollen milk glands, I can deal with that.

There are so many things I had forgotten about newborn babies, that I love! I love that soft feeling of their heads, as they snuggle up against your shoulder. I love the cooing, the little noises they make, and even the way they breathe. I forgot about the swell of love that moves between the two of you when they open their eyes and connect with you. I love their adorable small toes and fingers; and that new baby smell..........well, there's really nothing like it on earth.

We took Ms Darla into the doc yesterday for her first check up. She's doing well and is just a few oz under her birth weight. We'll be back above 8 lbs by next week, for sure. The funniest moment we've had so far, occurred at the doctor visit. In order to weigh her, we had to undress Darla, including her diaper. As soon as I took the diaper off, she exploded. And, I DO mean exploded. Projectile poop, people. Amazingly, she missed hitting the other three people in the room, but left a mess on the floor. I was too amazed to be all that embarrassed. Until, as we were cleaning it up, it happened again!!! Yup, twice in a row, a shot of poop flung across the room. I had never seen anything like it before. And to top it off, as we were getting ready to take her to the scale, she peed on the table. All I could do was laugh and hope the nurse wasn't too disturbed. I'm really not sure Darla liked the doctor's much. What a moment....I'll never forget it.

As I write this, my heart is full of love for our new little addition. She's lying on my lap, sleeping in that way that only newborns do. Deeply. Today has been an emotional day, filled with lots of tears and frustration. I know the days will get better, and I look forward to the moments to come as we continue to learn how to be the best family of four we can be. For now, we are taking it day by day.

Monsters in the house!

My poor little man was really worried about monsters tonight. Daddy is out at a meeting, so it was just Derick and I for dinner and bedtime. I think we both felt like the house was too dark and too quiet without Jeremy. Winter is definitely here. I kept the music going until it was time to read stories. That helped us both alot! After getting into jammies, he told me there were monsters in the house. I told him that’s why baby bear sleeps with him, to protect him. He kept insisting they were in my room. So, we went and checked the room, just to make sure. I closed the window (it was cracked open), and told him that might be how they got in. But we shoo-ed them out, so it was safe again. I felt so at a loss, I wanted to reassure him that everything was fine, without making him feel silly or wrong for having fears. He’s been refusing to let us close the door at night time, these days. I even put a brighter night light in his room. But, it doesn't seem to matter. He still insists on having the door open. It's harmless, so I am letting it go. But I think it makes it harder for him to fall asleep, hearing Jeremy and I moving around the house. My little boy is afraid of the dark! I feel so bad......and so amazed at his growth. How did we get here so fast? Tonight, I made sure I took the moments we had together and savored them.

Photos of 38 weeks

I just thought I'd share a couple of pics that Jeremy took this morning. Peanut is 38 weeks and we are about 4 days away from her birth. It's definitely different this time, knowing exactly when we'll have her. But this super planner is taking advantage! :) Enjoy the big belly, it's not going to be around much longer!

One more week

In one week, at this time, Jeremy and I will be looking into the face of our daughter. It's kinda surreal, exciting, and nerve-racking all at the same time. I think we are pretty much ready. We just have the hospital bag and Derick's overnight bag to pack and a few little things to do. I am so ready to have my body back now. While our little peanut is growing normally, she's started to push on ribs, and twang some nerves in there that tend to make me a little more uncomfortable these days. I got to see an 8 day old baby last night, and let me tell you, he was the CUTEST thing. It made me really get excited to hold our little girl in my arms. I'm still kinda nervous about all that infant stuff...nursing, recovery from surgery, sleepless nights, Derick's reaction.....but, I know we'll make it through. This impatient mama says, "Let's get this show on the ROAD!"

From Spa Bliss to Head Cold Sickness

The last few days have been a struggle. I re-read my blog about the spa and was so bummed that I lost that Blissful feeling so fast. But the next day, I came down with one of the worst head colds I've had in ages. I am sure it's from lack of sleep. I don't think I slept more than an hour or two at a time Wednesday or Thursday nights, that week. I do know, without good rest, my immune system fails. So, it was no surprise to me to wake up so yucky. The good news is, I am starting to recover. I hope it's all gone soon, so I don't have to go into the hospital with a cold.

Things have been tense around here the last few days. Jeremy worked alot over the weekend, getting one of his teams moved from one building to another. He's phone and IT support, so alot gets done after hours. Sunday was his only day home, and we tried to spend it getting last minute things done for the baby. I had a list of stuff to bring down from the attic. Once it was all down, it filled my landing space on the stairwell!!! Bouncy seats, car seats, infant tub, nursing pillows, toys, bottles.........it's kinda crazy how much stuff goes into caring for an infant. I guess I forgot. I think all three of us kinda freaked out. The anxiety level jumped 50% for Jeremy and I and Derick picked it up like little one's do. We spent all day snapping at each other or in tears. (Well, Derick and I shed the tears) I kept thinking: I'm not sure that I really want to go through the tiny infant thing again. When I first got pregnant, I longed for the tiny baby snuggled up against me. But, now I'm starting to remember the long sleepless nights, the pumping, the feedings, the fear of not knowing how to stop the crying. I am hoping all that will go fast and we'll get into the fun stages quickly....the smiles, the cooing, the more set sleep patterns.

On top of all that stuff to get ready, we thought it would be fun to go look at bunk beds for Derick's room. Which store did we pick? Well, which one would be the busiest and most crazy one? You guessed it, we went to IKEA on a Sunday. What was I thinking???? Needless to say, it was not a good trip. We all came home frustrated and ready for naps.

I do want to say, Monday and today have been much better around here. I know all families go through rough days together. That's life. And, as I continue to feel better, that only helps. The anxiety about adding a little baby to our family continues, but we'll do the best we can once she gets here. I feel very supported by family and friends. As I get the last of things washed and put away, the final waiting games begin.

Spa Bliss

Can I just say, EVERYONE should spend some time in a spa, on a regular basis! I must sound dorky, but what a gift I was given today. My dear parents purchased a gift certificate for me months ago and I have been dragging my feet to get my appointments scheduled. Not sure why, but the calendar never seemed to work. Well, time is running out now, before the baby comes, and I HAD to get it done. So, I dropped D off with my parents this morning and headed to Olympus Women's Spa in Lynnwood. It's an oasis of calm, peace, and well being!!! I spent 4 hours there today, alone. Well, without someone I knew. It was the best gift ever. I soaked in the pools, splashed myself with mugwort tea, showered with wonderful soaps, read my book, got a massage, had a yummy Korean lunch, read my book some more, and enjoyed a facial!!! No crying child, I didn't have to lift a finger for anyone, and I had uninterrupted "me" time. Since the spa is just for women, swim suites and clothes are not allowed the pool areas. The first time I went, it was a little unnerving to be naked, but after 5 minutes, you realize you are built with all the same parts as the other women around you. And there are EVERY shape and size. So, the uncomfortable feeling goes away. I say all this to explain a sweet moment I had today. As I was putting my robe and things into a cubby near the pools, a woman walked by me and said, "OH! There's a baby in your tummy!!!" I smiled and said, "Yes, there is." And she said, "You are so beautiful! Just Beautiful!" I almost cried. It was such an endearing moment and a nice thing to hear at 37 weeks gestation! What a great day. I feel so calm, relaxed, and somehow more ready now for the baby to arrive.

All things Scary

As the month of October winds down, we celebrate Halloween! I do enjoy my pumpkins and the annual trip to the pumpkin patch is one of my favorite parts of the holiday. This year, the sun was shining and the place was packed, as usual. Somehow, I didn't get as much pleasure out of the trip as I usually do. I think it was just harder for me to wander the fields with my boys this year and I didn't get as many cute pics as I wanted. I did find my perfect gourd for carving, though. I like the green and orange ones best. After the patch, we all descended on our little house; stuffed ourselves with pizza, lasagna, and brownies; and created cool Jack-O-Lanterns. Fun was had by all! Here's some pics from the day.

Derick is going to be Bob the Builder for Halloween this year. I went to Value Village to get the clothes, and he supplied the cute!

I'm not sure what caused the change, but for the last week or two, Derick is having trouble falling asleep at night. I don't know if it's all the talk about Halloween or if it's just a coincidence but both Jeremy and I are unable to get him to go down easily like he used to. The routine is the same, the timing is the same......but he fights it like crazy. "Mommy, I have to go potty. Mommy, I want water. Mommy, cover my toes." When he finally runs out of things to ask for, he just cries and cries. We changed his bed location to make room for a night light. Didn't matter. We tried asking him to tell us why he didn't want to go to bed. He really can't tell us. Finally, we just started leaving his door open. That seems to be working, for now. He'll stay in his bed and drift off. Once he's asleep, we close his door so Daddy won't wake him in the morning. Pool little guy, I know the lack of sleep is getting to him, here's hoping now that we have something working we'll all get caught up.