Something's still missing.....

Darla turns 4 months old this Friday (in three days) and life with her is getting lots better. She is ADORABLE when she's happy. Big smiles and the beginnings of a laugh are our rewards. She's blowing raspberries and enjoys being on the floor now, too. She goes to bed around 10pm (well, she did until Daylight Savings ended!) and will sleep for about 7 to 10 hours. Which is really nice for me. I'm getting more sleep and that makes me a better mom. I still get cranky when Derick doesn't take a rest, but I'm noticing he's starting to transition out of them. Some days, he'll sleep. Others, he won't. Quiet time is in effect at our house, either way, cuz mommy needs the break. And most days, a break is all I need.

But, there's still something missing. I think it's my self confidence that seems to have taken the biggest hit lately. I'm not sure why, but I'm struggling with some old mental tapes that I thought I'd put away for good, years ago. I know part of it is my physical body. I'm not loosing the baby weight as fast this time. And I don't like the way I look in the mirror. It's definitely time to really focus on the calories I'm putting in. But it's more than that. It's this feeling of loneliness in the midst of having lots of friends. It's this scattered feeling in the midst of getting alot more done than I was two months ago. It's this annoying questioning voice, and when it comes around, I start doubting myself and my self worth. Grrrrr. I know things will continue to get better. I'm just really ready to be past all this and back to my happy self again. Maybe all I need is a few date nights with my man and to hit the streets with my walking shoes, again. Rain or shine. Wanna join me?

Here's some fun pics from the last few days. We started bringing out more of the baby gear that's been in the attic. It sure makes our tiny living room feel even smaller. But, Darla is digging the Jumperoo. Derick likes it too....he enjoys interacting with her while she's in it. They are sooo cute to watch. He's very loving with her, and she's all big eyes for him.