Turning a Corner

It's been almost three weeks since I went to see my doctor about my Post Partum Depression. The angry Lioness that was living unfettered inside me, is caged. Finally, I am feeling more like myself! One of the most telling moments was not long after my appointment. The whole family was taking Darla to her 9 month check up. As we were walking down the hallway, I tripped over Derick and the three of us fell to the floor. Everyone was fine and we headed to the exam room. But I was a little flustered. Once there, we got settled and I looked over at hubby and smiled at him. He got teary eyed. I had to ask why. He said in his soft voice, "Nothing. It's just, you haven't smiled at me like that in a long time. You're back." Suddenly, we were both a bit teary. It took another week to really start feeling like myself again, but that was the beginning of the changes.

I still feel a little weird about taking the medication. Sometimes I wonder if I really need it. But then I remember how different I feel now compared to just a month ago, and I am grateful. I just finished reading Brooke Shield's book called, "Down Came the Rain." It was a good message about how common and how varied this condition is. Each woman I speak to that has experienced PPD, has a different story to tell. And, so many of them tell me they all waited too long to seek help.

Up until now, I've been doing my best to just enjoy the good feelings. But, I know I have more learning/healing to do. I can feel the rage, it's still there. But the meds are helping me keep it from exploding. It's now time to take it to the next level. I am going to make my first appointment for some counseling. Other steps in my plan are to look into yoga classes and to start swimming laps again.

I'm ready to have my confidence back. I'm ready to feel like a good mother and wife again. I'm ready to be able to fully participate in my life again!